Learning to Love Again: Married for a Second Time

— March 17, 2015

As women, I feel we have it a little harder than men when it comes to building relationships later in life. Of course, most people agree that men age better than us women at the early stages of getting older, but I think that it turns a corner again in our mid-50s. However, looking my best on my wedding day after getting this old was much more difficult than my first wedding, so I thought I’d share some advice from my recent experiences. Couldn’t simply diet for two weeks to get my body in shape like I did when I was 22, and there are other things that were much different and much more difficult.

However, there are also things that were much less important to me and other things that enthralled me a great deal more. I found myself less concerned about the little details and how my makeup looked while becoming more and more fascinated with my new partner and what he and I have in our future. You see, your priorities change drastically, too, so everything can have a balance to make your wedding as beautiful as your first one.

Lifestyle Changes

The first thing that you’re going to need to accept is that you won’t be able to slim down as quickly for your wedding if you’re over 45 years old. I’m 57, and it took me a solid 3 months of eating right and exercising to hit my target weight. The benefit was that I not only looked great in my wedding dress but that I also felt better by drastically improving my health. If you take anything away from this, make sure it’s that you should use this as an opportunity to make general improvements to the quality of your life. This will make it more enjoyable and last much longer.

Keep it Simple

Though my I had the help of a few younger people who wanted me to make my wedding larger, I stuck to my guns and kept things really simple. I really didn’t feel the need to have a full service bar with tons of people getting way too drunk, so instead we went with a simple cheese and wine bar. We added a few fun twists to make up for cutting out some of the traditional elements of a wedding such as using wedding sparklers after the ceremony and doing a charity raffle. A few small things can go a long way to making you wedding memorable, but you don’t need to go over-the-top.

“Retire-Moon”

I didn’t have the full privilege of this one, but we are planning it for just 3 short years away. Imagine, however, immediately waking up the next day knowing that you’re retired and are free to do whatever you like with your day. Having a “Retire-Moon” is becoming increasingly popular and is a great way to make the most out of your second wedding.

I know from experience that getting married for a second time and learning to love again can be a tricky task, but the reward is very much worth the effort. Just make sure to have fun and be yourself, and make sure that you let who you are take center stage. This is the only time that you’ll be married for the second time, so make your wedding exactly how you want it to be.